Thursday, May 24, 2012

Shockingly Sinister Shorts #25

*Two strangers are sitting in the very back of a crowded  LAX to ATL flight. Half way through their 6 hour trip, boredom kicks in and they start up idle conversation*

Bored passenger: I really hate to fly. I am terrified of it.

Jovial passenger: Not me. I love it. Why do you hate it so?

Bored passenger: All the risks of what can go wrong. Missed flights, lost luggage, illness. Plus the feeling of being confined in this tight being trapped in a small room! Not to mention, I have been living in fear of terrorist since 9/11.

Jovial passenger: Well as for me, I like the confined space. It helps to contain the possible chaos. I thrive on the chaos! The possibility for something horrible to go wrong is my bread and butter. It’s almost like gambling for high stakes for me. You really shouldn’t worry about bombs and such. They have so many new tech gadgets out there that it is near impossible for that to happen anymore.

Bored passenger: Oh? Is that so? Do you know  much about these things?

Jovial passenger: Oh yes, in fact, I have studied airport security for years now. I know every piece of hardware they use, what can and can’t get on board, and all their procedures.

Bored passenger: Wow, you sound like a master criminal or a terrorist ha ha. You don’t intend to blow us all up do you? Ha ha?

Jovial passenger: Oh good heavens no! Never anything so crass as that! A bomb would never make it onto the plane my good man.

*The jovial man continues the conversation as he shuffles his feet to reveal a small duffel bag between them.*

Jovial passenger: Take for example my carry on bag. It passes through 15 sensors at least before coming on the plan with me. It passes by bomb sniffing dogs and machinery. Even a simple metal detector would catch it if I were bringing a bomb on board.

Bored passenger: I see. You really do know your stuff.

Jovial passenger: I do indeed. Let’s say I wanted to create chaos and I was one of these “terrorist” as you asked earlier. I would have to mastermind a plan to get something terribly damaging, disrupting, and potentially deadly on this plane, all condensed down to the size of my duffel bag at my feet. Now, let’s say I beat the 1 out of 100 chance of getting my “chaos package” on board the plane without being searched. I would then have to find a way to deliver this terrible payload remotely without hurting myself. Maybe even placing the blame on another passenger so that in the unlikely event this “chaos package” did not bring the plane down, it would leave me free and alive to do it again another day. It blows the mind how all of this could come together as a plan. Wouldn’t you say so?

*The grinning man pats the duffel bag at his feet reassuringly*

Bored passenger: Uhh….yeah…if you say so. I honestly do not know if I should feel reassured or terrified.

Jovial passenger: Oh come now, don’t be silly! I was just having a bit of fun with you. Things like that only happen in the movies and in books. Now, if you will excuse me.... my in flight meal is not sitting comfortably with me and I must be excused for about 15 minutes to the rest room.

*The grinning man gets up and heads to the nearby rest room, leaving his duffel in the floor. He enters the lavatory and locks the door behind him, leaving one very worried and confused passenger sitting alone. The remaining passenger talks to himself nervously as he continues to eye the duffel bag with dread.*

Bored passenger: There is nothing in there……he was just pulling my leg. There really is tight security at airports. That man was just having some fun with me at my own expense. ……DAMNIT!  That duffel bag looks like it's bursting at the seams full! What if he really is a crazed terrorist and he managed to get something on board that could hurt us?

*Curiosity and worry get the best of him. He figures a quick peek for his peace of mind will not hurt anything so he reaches down and slides the duffel bag over to his feet. He grabs the zipper as he notices that the bag is vibrating strangely! Fear takes over as he grabs for the zipper. He is shocked when the zipper pops off in his hands as if it were designed to do just that, leaving no way to reseal the bag and leaving it fully opened. Ice cold horror seeps into his very soul as he sees the contents of the bag!*


  1. This short story stinks on ice.
    How dare you put this on your site and make me read it.
    There's 7 minutes I'm never getting back.

    Thanks a pant load !!!!!

    1. First, you imply that I have the power to make you do things against your will, such as read my short stories. If that were true, I would use this power to make you jump off a very tall cliff, thereby vastly improving the overall gene pool of the world. Secondly, you point out it took you a full 7 minutes to read this extremely short story, which is very sad. May I suggest something more to your reading speed such as, “The Little Engine That Could”, or the vintage, “Fun with Dick in Jane”. Judging from your poor grasp of the English language and your obvious low IQ, I will take your pathetic attempt at a slur as an immense compliment. Thank you!

  2. thats freeking awesome


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