Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Shockingly Sinister Shorts #17

*A mailman pulls up to a quaint little farm cottage in the country. He unloads three large boxes and heads to the front door. After ringing the bell, an older gentleman answers the door.*

Curious Mailman: I got some more packages for you. That is like the 20th shipment of packages you have received this month.

Older gentleman: Yes, I supposed it is.

Curious mailman: If you don't mind me asking, what are all these for? It is policy I report any odd mail related things back to the office.

Older gentleman: I guess this does look suspicious. I tell you what, it would be easier for me to show you. Come around to the back cellar.

*The Mailman follows him around the back of the house then down a long flight of steps into a dark cellar where he reveals a huge machine that looks like something right out of a mad scientist lab.*

Curious Mailman: Holy heck! What is this huge thing?

Older gentleman: I call it The Eraser. This machine uses titanium blades, fire, and a variety of acids to completely erase something. Let’s say I wanted to get rid of a car. I would put the car into the main opening and within 20 minutes this machine would reduce it into less than an ounce of unidentifiable carbon. That is what I have been working on for the last 10 years and why I have also had so many packages lately. It requires a huge amount of maintenance to keep it running.

Curious Mailman: WOW! What exactly would you use this machine for?

Older gentleman : Well…so far, I have only used it on two really nosey Mailmen… you will be the third.

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