Saturday, March 31, 2012

Shockingly Sinister Shorts

Employee: I am calling in to tell you I will not be into work today. My wife died.

Boss: Oh wow, I am so sorry for your loss. When did she die?

Employee: Just now when I chopped her head off in her sleep.

Friday, March 30, 2012

The only original thing about Monster Man is it's capacity to be awful.

   A friend of mine pointed out that on the Syfy website, they had a slide show with "original concept art for werewolf project by Constance". This was for episode two where they had to design a werewolf for a client


   This original concept looks very familiar. In fact, it looks like it was traced and blatantly stolen from UK Artist Martin McKenna's original artwork "Howl of the Werewolf"

   This is just low. They cannot even come up with original ideas to screw up. 

   In the end, I guess it does not really matter because the final product looked like a terrible B movie knock off with cartoonish porportions anyhow. 

   Sure it would look pretty good in the dark of a yard haunt, but in a movie? Made by a seemingly professional group and not one automated component? Blah! That is all I have to say. 

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Is Merle Dixon the Governor?

   That is the big question on every Walking Dead fan's mind and thus far, the producers and cast have been very tight lipped about it. So far it has been confirmed that we would be seeing the Governor and Merle would be returning but in no way will they confirm if they are one in the same.

   Even Micheal Rooker, the actor who plays Merle, casts shadows of doubt on this pair up. When asked if he  was indeed returning as the Governor, he replied:

“It doesn’t seem like Merle is The Governor. Merle is Merle. I think if I come back, I’m going to be even bigger than The Governor.”
“My character may end up being some sort of composite of The Governor/Merle/something else. I don’t know. They’re not going to stick to the graphic novels at all. The graphic novels are written wonderfully, but they’re graphic novels. This is little films. This is TV, so it has to be written in that way.”
“I think it’s advantageous for the show to wait a bit…so that when I do come back, when my character does reappear, I think it’s going to be a big deal and there’s going to be hell to pay.”
   This could be a misleading tidbit to cover up the always secretive direction the show is going to take, or it could be absolutely true.
   There was a huge stir when this picture was circulated as "Merle and Daryl on set of season 3 with Merle growing the governor beard". This was a complete mistake and or falsehood. The man with the beard is actually David Boyd, the Director of Photography  

  As rumors continue to fly, there is word that British actor, David Morrissey, has signed on to play the part of the governor. You may recall David from the Doctor Who Christmas Special of the ill fated "Basic Instinct 2".

You be the judge if he fits the bill.

   The very painful fact is we truly will not know what the show will actually bring until it airs. While rumors and high jumping conclusions continue to run rampant, I think part of the show's allure is not knowing what exactly happens next. The one thing I am sure of is the stellar job that the producers have done thus far and hopefully will continue to do in future episodes. It is going to be a great season 3 that will not have the slightest capacity to suck!

   Speaking of capacity to suck, Monster Man continues to create a veritable black hole of suckage. 

"I make Wal Mart Costumes look good!" 
   I was flipping through the channels last night and caught the very tail end of Monster Man. Guess what was going on?...... no go ahead... just try to guess what was happening at the end of the third show.
If you guessed :
  1. They were down to the second of being late with a project that had a shortened deadline.
  2. There was fighting between family and employee/boss.
  3. They built a prop that makes the Toxic Avenger look like Star Wars in comparison. 
  Then you would be correct. Same thing every show with a different poorly executed prop. I will be glad when this show is canceled and they can put something else in that may have entertainment value. 


Monday, March 26, 2012

The Home Haunter DVD Collection and Awards

    If you have not picked up this little gem of Halloween goodness, you need to! I just got mine last week and we have been hungrily combing through the submission ever since. The creativity contained on this 5 DVD set is astounding. Check out the newly revamped website by clicking below:

    Don't forget to like the Home Haunter DVD Collection Facebook page as well.  

   I know there are many of us that are awaiting with a great deal of anticipation to see who won The 2011 Home Haunter Video Awards.  

   We are only halfway through the DVD sets and I already do not envy the judges jobs. There are so many great haunts and videos to choose from this year. Good luck all!

Hmmm.... this one on disk 5 sounds like it will be wicKED!

   Speaking of wicked things, don't forget about the May Monster Madness blog hop hosted by Annie Walls.Sign up by clicking the picture below!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Michonne, Merle, The Governor, a prison, and a helicopter... Season 3 of The Walking Dead sneak peak.

  As I have said before, if you are not watching The Walking Dead, then you are a zombie and this post is going to suck for you. If you are a fan of The Walking Dead, then perhaps I can give you a few nuggets of knowledge for the upcoming season 3!
   First of all, I have read all the comics the show is based on. I usually think that this lessens the effect any movie or TV show has when you do this. In this case, for me, it makes it even better. While the show producers have followed the comics to an extent, there is such a wild (and in almost all cases much better) slant to the story, it drives me crazy trying to keep up... in a good way. If you would like to take a peek at the comics yourself, you can find them online in PDF format HERE.
   Season 2 ended in grandiose fashion with Rick and his son performing a double kill on Shane and zombie Shane. Shane was such a douche bag he had to die twice! I am so glad of this. Shane was a loose cannon and as crazy in the show as he was in the comic.

   Don't get me wrong, he was a pivotal plot character and was great in the show, but I was glad to see him gone because he played crazy so well. He did make a good zombie.

   If you were a Shane fan and are still shedding tears because he was killed off.... just stop it. He has been asking for it for a long time!

   Speaking of asking for it, Lori is next in my cross-hairs of hopeful character deaths. She is obviously grappling with her guilt of sleeping with Shane, confused because she loved them both, and does not know who her baby's daddy is. To make herself feel better, I think she set Shane and Rick against each other so that one would kill the other, thus making her choice for her. 

   I am counting the days till you are zombie chow Lori ........

   Carl is not far behind Lori in my book....

   Season 2 left me chomping at the bit for Season 3, especially in light of some "spoilers" that have been released by the producers. One major revelation (not so much a spoiler) is the addition of Michonne.

   She was a fan favorite from the comics and they have stayed pretty true to her appearance at least. If she is anything like her comic alter ego, then we are in for a treat. The two "unarmed" zombies she drags with her are her dead boyfriend and his best friend. I guess she did not want to be alone in the world.
   Michonne is a cross between Snake Eyes, Wolverine, and Red Sonja with a delightfully dark dash of crazy for good measure. Lot's of people were saying that there is no way that season 3 can live up to the unmatched awesomeness of season 2. With the simple addition of Michonne, they have already done that!
   Another thing that is not so much a spoiler as it was a confuser. The Prison:

   I saw posts asking what this structure was and saw answers ranging from, "Wal Mart" to "Graceland". This is the prison where the producers will run wild with the story line. I cannot wait.
   It was also announced that we will be seeing, "The Governor". All the producers could confirm was, "he is a total bad ass and scary as hell"

      Merle will also be returning. The brother of Daryl who Rick handcuffed to a roof top in Atlanta. 

   The same Merle that cut his own hand off and escaped will be returning in Season 3. I cannot wait to see how Daryl "handles" it. 
   The only other detail that is spoiler worthy is the elusive helicopter that Rick first spotted in season 1 when he first entered Atlanta.

   I assume that is the same helicopter that we see in the final episode of season 2 which apparently stirred up the zombie herd that destroyed the farm. The only hint that we are given is, "we will be seeing more of the copter in the next season". I know what it eludes to in the comics but I cannot wait to see what twists the tv producers will throw at it. 
   There is a lot of complaining and whining about how Rick acted towards the group in the last episode. Many are saying he is "too cold" or "gone of the deep end and become a dictator". To those people I say stuff it. Rick has been through hell and back to try and keep, not only his family, but the entire group alive since he met up with them. He has been through things I cannot imagine dealing with and has somehow maintained his sanity. I understand that there are a lot of people that cannot identify with his actions, but perhaps Rick can explain it better through song:

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Super early, very girly, Halloween jewelry deal.

Gotta love a woman that loves her some Halloween. M has already started shopping for the season and found these gems on Ebay for 99 cents each... FREE SHIPPING!

   Now if she can only find me the same deal for the Spirit Jumping Spider.... hmmmm.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Woodboogers beware. Finding Bigfoot has NOT been canceled.

   Animal Planet's hit TV show "Finding Bigfoot" HAS NOT, I repeat, HAS NOT been canceled.

   I sparked a firestorm of emails and net queries by posting a funny video put together by some of the team members as it aired on the Entertainment Channel's "The Soup" .

   At the end of the video, Cliff makes a joke about "Oh so we found Bigfoot.... I guess we are canceled now." It was just a joke. They are in fact shooting the next season as we speak. Some of the episodes will take them international to find the origins  of Bigfoot/Yeti in "some of the squatchiest locations on earth". 

   South West Virginia Woodbooger fans should not despair. They will still be shooting episodes in the US and there is a VERY good chance that they will return to our very own High Knob area for another hunt. Until they do, I suggest all of you mega fans calm down, grab a Woodbooger T shirt, and watch some reruns. 

   If you just can't wait for the show to return (which it is I promise), you can always join one of the several groups that has popped up to discuss and share info (funny and serious) on the Woodbooger. Facebook has one such group, "The High Knob Woodbooger Association" , that you can join by clicking HERE

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Confessions of a life taker.

  He admitted to himself that he was a habitual taker of life. Decades of  scheduled, orderly death dealing had numbed him to the extent of the life he extinguished. From the maelstrom of destruction, he would force order into what life he allowed to remain in his world. The only way he could continue this routine year after year was due to his infernal machine.
   The machine was a masterwork of death. It's ability to maintain evenly measured chaos was unmatched. Constructed to dish out destruction with no regards to what kind of victim found it's way to it's ever hungry maw. The cruel contraption was designed not only to snuff out the life it was fed, but to quickly and neatly break the remains down and deposit them back into the earth where they would never be detected. If, by some miracle, the living were able to survive the machine, they would forever be mangled, twisted, and deformed to such an extent that death would be a welcome release.
   Both master, and machine would rest through the white of winter. Waiting for the warm weather to bring out the living in force. It seems almost cruel for them to perform these serial killings when the rest of the world is  focused on the rebirth of life after being locked into winter's grey embrace of death, but he was without remorse. On the first warm day of spring, you would see him sharpening the long, bizarre blades that made up the killing force of his cruel vehicle of doom.
   When he had first started his career in mass murder, he had tried to be selective. Stopping the machine for the slow, the young, the injured, the very beautiful. Years upon years of using the machine had completely deadened him to the plight of any life that found itself in the path of the deadly mechanism. Every week, like clock work, the machine would start up and be used to to rip the life from any who crossed him. When the machine starts, he would keep his head down and do nothing but focus on the removal of life before him.
   You would think that such a heinous act would be carried out in darkest night in some secluded part of the woods, far removed from the eyes and ears of any witness. You would be wrong. These acts have been carried out, in broad day light, blatantly in front of the community at large. Even the infernal machine itself has a design that should draw attention to it. Painted the brightest, bloodiest red and supporting a growling engine that could be heard for blocks, one would think it would be apparent what was occurring right under their noses. When he operated the machine, his neighbors paid no attention to him or the machine, almost as if they were invisible.
   Was this some nefarious power that his demonic construct was able to project as it neatly removed the living? Could it be that the neighbors nearby were concerned of the consequences of paying attention to what he and his machine were doing? Perhaps they were afraid they would be asked to assist in this macabre dance of death going on right next door. Could it be that they somehow understood he was performing a community service with this scheduled life removals each week? Truthfully, they secretly wished he would bring his terrible machine to them and release it's horrific powers on their lives.
    If he were to ever be confronted about his deathly habits, he would shrug and act as if nothing were wrong. To him, he is performing a normal act by thinning the enormity of life force in this world. To him, he is grabbing life in both hands and taming it, daring any living thing to reject the order he and his torture device offer. The one thing you could not accuse him of, is killing on account of color, creed, sex, or designation. Any species that crossed his path was subject to the terrible blades of indiscriminate death.
   Fueling up his machine with oil and gas, he almost has to whip the mechanical murderer into life. The grating growl of the engine drowns out everything. No sounds of the dying, no screams of pain, no crunching or slicing would be heard over the rhythmic blare of the damned construct.

    His season of death has started again.

Hope everybody enjoys the first day of spring!

Let the mowing begin!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Mean green creature lineup. Leprechauns need not apply.

 Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

   I have already seen about 20 posts about leprechauns this morning. Mostly the one from the horror movie. I decided to follow a different path and do a picture salute to some of our other famous greenies that don't get enough time in the lime light.
   Without further delay, Something wicKED is going GREEN with this creature feature

Frankenstein's Monster
The Banshee
The Creature from the Black Lagoon
Creatures from Descent
Swamp Ape a.k.a. Swamp booger.
Audrey II
Statue of Liberty from Ghostbusters 2
The Kraken
A Green Goblin
The Green Goblin
Battle Cat a.k.a Cringer
Boba Fett
Cee Lo Green with his little baby T Rex arms
Doctor Doom
Green Dragon
The Grinch
Jabba the Hutt
Succubus the Slutt
The Hulk
She Hulk
The Rancor
Martian from Mars Attacks!
Meg Mucklebones
Green Ghosts from Scooby Doo.
Green Giant
Martian Man Hunter
Man Hunting Martians
Poison Ivy
Glow in the dark cat.
Orion Slave Girl
Swamp Thing
The Mask
Aliens from Toy Story
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Wicked Witch of the West
Tyrannosaurus Rex
King Pig