Friday, November 18, 2011

Freaky Friday! Time for News of the wicKED (or not so wicKED).

   Happy weeKEnD before black Friday yall! To celebrate the occasion, I have dug around to bring you strange news stories currently circulating in the media. Here goes :

Woman eats late husband's ashes!

   A 26 year old woman has found herself unable to stop eating her late husband's cremated remains. While transferring the ashes from a cardboard box to a permanent earn, she spilled some on her hand. Unwilling to just brush them away, she licked the ashes off and has since then been hooked. So far, she has consumed a full pound of the original 6 pounds of remains. Full story HERE.
    This poor woman is obviously distraught so I will not make the usual "kiss my ash" or "eat me" joke here.

Toronto chef cooking dishes made with blood. Canadian Vampires Rejoice!

Torta sanguinaccio, a blood dish features at Buca in Toronto.

    Rob Gentile asks, "You eat the meat, why not the blood?". Rob is the chef at Buca, an Italian restaurant in Toronto Canada. The chef makes several blood dishes now for his guests.
   It seems the blood cooking started when Rob wanted to "not waste a single drop of the butchered pigs" he was ordering.
    The "bloody good cooking" seems to be taking off as several other high end establishments have started serving blood dishes as well. Full story HERE.
    At least the Twilight Wedding reception will have several places to choose from for catering. I bet they go with the one that serves glittery ice cream cake!

 Cat has uncanny ability to predict weather!

Instead of a purr you get a brrr!
    Lilly puts on a sweater and crawls under the covers when the weather is going to be cold. Shockingly, her fur gets wet when it starts raining! Creepy!

Despite the state of the economy, American's still dressing up their pets for Halloween!

   The National Retail Federation claims that Americans will spend 7 billion dollars on Halloween in 2011. Of that sum, almost 2.6 billion will be spent on costumes alone. That breaks down to 1.2 billion in adult costumes (mostly slutty girl costumes YAY!) , 1 billion going to children costumes, and a respectable 310 million dollars going to dressing up our four legged friends!
    What exactly are we dressing our pets up as?  The NRF has listed this top 10 purchased pet costumes of 2011 :
  1. Pumpkin
  2. Devil
  3. Hot Dog (pictured above)
  4. Bee
  5. Cat (Dressing the dog up as a cat)
  6. Witch
  7. Bowties or bandannas
  8. Pirate
  9. Dog (Dressing your cat as a dog)
  10. Ghost
   According to Dr Peter Venkman, dressing cats as dogs or dogs as cats is one of the signs that America is "heading for a disaster of biblical proportions". 

   The Doctor was qouted as saying, "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! "

Florida woman pitches a tent and camps out 9 days early to be first at Best Buy for Black Friday sale. Stupid people of America cheer for their new poster child.

Insane link HERE
   In another shocking sign of the Apocalypse, this woman has decided to camp out in front of Best Buy NINE (9) days early to be the first in line to get Black Friday Deals.
   Best Buy associates claim that it is most likely for naught as there are HUNDREDS of people pressing at the doors come Black Friday opening and she almost assuredly be overrun from other over zealous shoppers. 
    To make matters worse, I do not think this woman has thought things through. According to close friends she bought a new dome tent and sleeping gear for the event ($200). She has a small gas powered generator she also purchased ($375).  Gas to run the generator for 9 days will most likely run her  ($300). A new portable heater ($100). Also, she is eating her meals from fast food places so if she has 3 meals a day at roughly $6.50 she will end up paying out  at least ($175) for food.  Not thinking about other incidentals costs she may happen upon, she is already out over $1000 bucks.... hope her shopping is worth it. 

In local wicKED news, brand new laptop has PORN on it! Discovery helps break up Kitty Porn ring!

   Miranda recently purchased a brand new quad core laptop. After charging it overnight, she was shocked to find porn on it!

    Trying to figure out how PORN got on her new laptop, she set up a trap camera and discovered this shocking photo!

   Archie looking at Kitty Porn! Archie was unavailable for comment but was overheard saying, "meh".

    Hope everybody has a great weeKEnD by NOT camping outside of a retail store or eating blood and ashes.


  1. ROFL!!! ok, this blog entry had me in stitches! you need to write a book, mate! thanks for the laughs and the very clever writing!

  2. Those were very funny. I still can't get over the chick eating her husband's ashes.....yuck!

  3. ROFL @ Archie! He's going to corrupt Lilly!

    That woman eating those ashes??? Gawd, I thought I was weird.

    Happy Weekend to you, M and the babies of fur!


  4. What's that old saying? It takes all kinds.....yeah. I guess that means weirdos, too!

    I think Archie was just reading the articles.

  5. Good Lord what are people thinking!! The best buy thing has be giggling nicely put

  6. All I have to say is jugged hare - that's a hare cooked in wine and blood - yum! yum! Then there blood sausage and black pudding served with traditional English/Scottish full breakfast. I say yum to that too. So bring on the blood!

  7. I do love me some black pudding. But not really for breakfast. I am a porridge/oatmeal/yogurt girl that early in the morning. As Oscar Wilde said, only boring people are brilliant at breakfast.

    Don't you wonder what on earth the item is she's camping out for? It is just more needless commercially produced STUFF, after all.


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