Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Christmas pushing out Thanksgiving? Commercialism or foul fowl to blame?

     We all complain about the Christmas decorations for sale in stores starting in July. We all lament when we hear the non stop Christmas carols and commercials starting November 1st. While most blame commercialism and jolly old Santa Clause, could it be the true culprits are "flying" under our radar?

   We have all seen the cartoons blaming Christmas and Santa for pushing out Thanksgiving, but could it be the turkeys working this angle to destroy Thanksgiving Day?
   Could it be the turkeys who pit Halloween and Christmas against each other in hopes the oncoming battle will eradicate the holiday between them?

   We could be playing right into their fowl plans!
   Turkeys have always spoken of a promised land where Thanksgiving is not celebrated. Turkey lore has long talked about this "Turkey land" where good turkeys will one day end up, free from the oppression of stuffing and gravy. 

    For decades, turkeys have been patiently waiting for the time of the mass exodus to their home land. They have tried to hide out:

  They have even tried clever add campaigns to throw Americans off their trail :

   Try as they might, we never loose our taste for the great birds, and we always seem to find them.

   Even the womenfolk make a mockery of catching these fab fowls and bringing them to the dinner table!

   Sadly for us, with the internet being accessible from nearly anywhere, it was only a matter of time till they found out that Turkey is not the land they they were promised!

   Imagine the anger they must have felt when they discovered that Turkey was just a land full of humans and political unrest.  A land where all birds, great and small, were served with gravy year round! The terrible humans even colored the land Turkey Gravy Brown as a last slap in the face of the proud fowl! That was the day the fowl turned foul!
    The turkey terrorist have already started by creating Turkey Deep Fryers, or as they like to call them Human House Fire Kits. 

   These evil devices promise to give us tender, juicy turkey, but instead, give us flaming death! These fowl gone foul have even made attempts at one of our great American icons! William Shatner!

    The time of the turkey is now! They are no longer sitting back and hiding while they wait for Halloween and Christmas to squeeze Thanksgiving out! They are making their power moves now:

   They plan on taking New England first and then moving into the west:

    Once the United States of America fall under their talons , they will start pecking at the rest of the world!

   Nothing will be able to save us from the turkey damnation! 

Except maybe this guy.......



Do you have wicked words of wisdom? Then please leave a comment.