Monday, February 20, 2012

The sun rises on the aftermath of "Snowpocalypse" 2012

   We did not get the massive 6 to 10 inches predicted where I live, but it was fun to watch my neck of the woods react to snow as if they had never heard or seen of it before. You would think it was radioactive frozen toilet water falling from bloated, floating zombies.
   I have learned there are some predictable Facebook protocol you must observe in Southwest Virginia anytime the local station calls for any amount of snow over 3 inches. Here are a few of those observations :

  1. 48 hours before the first flake, people must post about running to a store (ie Walmart, Foodcity, etc) to buy milk and bread. It is like the end of the world if you are unlucky enough to be out during this dash for dairy. 
  2. Somebody will post that some of the local home hardware stores are completely sold out of kerosene heaters and or generators. The way people buy these every year, I think most consumers are using them once and disposing of them in summer. 
  3. As we move close to the time of the snow, people start exaggerating the amount of snow that is predicted to fall. For example, some of the higher elevations could see 6 to 10 inches, but I saw at least 2 posts saying we could see up to 24 inches and it was a wet, "death dealing" snow.... whatever that is. 
  4. A few select people will feel the need to "evacuate" the area until the snow has passed. Those that do MUST post hourly about how much nicer it is wherever they went.
  5. Before the snow starts, some people have to post about how they hate snow, while an equal number must post that they love it. Listing the reasons for both are just icing on the cake. 
  6. When the snow starts, there is a battle to post who has the most snow. "I have 2 inches on the back porch!". "Oh yeah!?!? I have 4 on my car!".
  7. Somebody must post a perverted status about how many inches their girlfriend/wife will be expecting that night. 
  8. A plethora of yeti, Empire Strikes Back, and avalanche photos spring up across FB, all claiming they took this pictures coming home, backyard, etc. 
  9. As the snow comes, people MUST post about how they hope their power does not go out constantly. It also helps to complain about how the local power company sucks and the wires to their house are old and broken so they will be the first without.
  10. During the snowstorm, people will post that every major, secondary, and back road has been closed by the Police, State Police, Fire Department, National Guard, or Rebel Alliance. The shocking thing is, the roads people claim are closed, seem to be open and functioning even as they status is updated. Before the storm is over, FB status updates will claim that every road in the area is closed. 
  11. At least one person MUST claim that an officer of the law threatened to write a ticket to anybody they catch out on the roads during the storm. To date, I have never heard of such a ticket being written... ever!
  12. People who live in the area will need to post about how they wish they lived far away from this snowy region, while people who live far away, will post about how they wished they lived here in the snow.
  13. A few individuals will feel the need to use their status updates to post hourly weather reports and or school closings. 
  14. Thousands upon thousands of snow pictures spring up all over.
  15. At least one person must post the holiday jingle, "Let it snow", or at least update their status as such. 
  16. Reports of vehicle wrecks pop up all over, many of them fictitious, a few exaggerated. 
  17. People scream about having, "cabin fever", after a few hours of snow. Threats of cannibalism and complete family genocide follow if the snow lasts longer that 24 hours.
  18. Many people will post how they CANNOT wait till summer... Conversely, these are the same people who complain endlessly in summer about how hot it is and they cannot wait to see snow.
  19. After the snow stops, even more pictures of snow will pop up but theses will be sprinkled with snow men pictures as well. Some of the snow men must have genitalia.
  20. When it is over, people start posting about the next big storm that the weather station just predicted for next week. This will occur regardless if that station predicted it or not.

   Society has survived (somewhat) and we continue on to weather the next big storm. I do feel for any person or persons that suffered at all during the snowfall but it was fun to watch most people freak out for nothing. It did make for some pretty photos. 

The Wicked Woods are none the worse for wear so we will live to haunt another day!


  1. We actually got a lot more than I was expecting in Lynchburg... I always expect less than what all the hype is about. There isn't a loaf of bread or gallon of milk to be found, though!

    1. I know... it's crazy. You should see the kerosene heaters and generators fly off the shelves here as well.

  2. Oh wow, you reminded me of a great story. I was watching the local news station a few years ago after one of these narrow misses of a storm system things you are talking about. The female anchor turned to the weatherman and asked, straight faced, "Where's that eight inches you promised me?"

    They had to cut to commercial everyone was laughing so hard. Now I have to find that clip somewhere. It was the best thing ever.

    Glad you survived!

    1. ROFL! Too funny. Let me know if you find it. I am glad I survived the 2 inch nightmare as well.

  3. Here it's hurricanes, there it's snow, people just love to exaggerate that stuff and the news media is the worse. Nice photos!

  4. lol...sounds like what happens around here when a hurricane is approaching. anyway, you got some beautiful photography out of it!

  5. Great photos. No big storm for us in Baltimore. Intact, there has been no accumulation of snow this year.

    1. That is odd for your area. Thanks for the compliment.

  6. Just a personal observation but I really wish that the word snow be banned from live T.V. or the air waves due to the mass hysteria it causes...or at least on the days I work. But I do so love the stories of customers coming in telling me about exactly how bad it is outside and how they almost died getting to the store. Quite simply amazing. Never knew bread and milk were to die for.

  7. I know nothing of snow mania where I am, but those photos certainly are extraordinarily pretty!

    1. I like some snow but not the hype. Thank you;)


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