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Without further delay... I give you... 10 THINGS YOU WILL NOT FIND IN THE WICKED WOODS CEMETERY!!!
#1 INFLATABLES!
Nope...not now... not then... not never...
Don't get me wrong. I am sure those of you with small children absolutely love them, but not in my woods.
#2 GLITTER!
I am sure all the ladies will grunt and groan over this...but when did glitter sneak into Halloween? Glitter has it's uses. There are a few glittery things we use during the wicKED weeKEnD Halloween party in the light/dance room, but you will never see a sparkle in my Haunt!
My Personal opinion it just makes things...unscary. I cringe whenever I go to a professional pay to enter haunt and see glitter.
Glitter is for sub standard vampires with inferiority complexes.
#3 ALIENS!
They are scary...but maybe the purist in me does not see them as Halloween. If done correctly I could imagine it being scary but 95% of the time, it comes off comical, cartoonish, and as a distraction from the haunt.
#4 CUTE SCARECROWS!
It sort of contradicts itself to have a non scary scarecrow.... especially the standard wall mart smiley face ones.
These are great for Fall/Autumn displays but not in the cemetery of the damned!
#5 STRING/ROPE LIGHTS!
In my humble opinion...save it for Christmas.
Another cringe worthy sight when I find it in pay to enter haunts.
Lighting is VERY important in a haunt...the wrong lighting is a game ender for me.
#6 HUMOROUS HALLOWEEN
I personaly love funny and whimsical Halloween things. My blog and my Haunt Facebook page is littered with horror humor, but I don't cross the lines with the actual Haunt itself.
The Halloween party is another matter....live it up and be goofy, funny, and insane, but I prefer to keep the haunt pure and spooky.
I love the spider... I just wont have one in my yard Halloween night.
#7 YELLOW CAUTION TAPE!
I can imagine this would have it's uses in certain slasher themed haunts...but not just thrown in haphazardly.
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For the most part, it really cheapens a haunt.
#8 MISUSED SPIDERWEBS
Spiderwebs that have been "plopped" on top of Hostas, globbed through hedges, or wrapped around railings really are not my thing.
In most cases, it looks like people use them just because the have them. When they are done correctly and intelligently, they look pretty good. Walmart smiley scarecrows covered in globs of white fluff are not scary.
Strange how poorly done webs and caution tape show up together often...
#9 MIXING CUTE AND CREEP
There is nothing that distracts me more than seeing a very decent haunt with great scary and creepy props have something cute smack in the middle. Inflatables, non horror themed props, cartoon characters, super heroes, smiley face round headed ghosts.... the list goes on and on.
The only thing worse than a yard full of inflatables is a half way decent haunt with a big old inflatable in the center of the creep! Like a zit on your nose during class pictures!
#10 BLOW MOLDS!
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I know there are alot of people that are going to hate me for this. Especially the vintage angle Haunters. I just don't like them in MY haunt.
It just bumps the scare factor down a notch for me.
In closing, I just wanted to say this post was not meant to call anybody out, make anybody feel inferior, or say that anybody celebrates Halloween wrong. On the contrary, if any of the above methods is your preferred method, then power to you! I would much rather have a neighborhood full of the above haunters than a town full of non Halloween fuddy duds. It would be an extreme honor to live near any of you.
I am just saying these are things that I don't/wont do and I have my own idea of Halloween and it's pure form and image.
The way I see it, you guys are celebrating one of the greatest holidays there is... and that makes you pretty damn cool in my book!
GREAT post! You cracked me up :) Gonna she this with my hubby later, b/c we have a lot of the same rules for our haunt ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for making Monday less of a drag ;)
But of course! Always a pleasure!
DeleteI agree with you, although I have been guilty of the use of aliens... Although I am not a big fan of inflatables and poorly used webs, I do love to see more and more people be inspired to decorate for Halloween. Since starting our haunt, we have seen more decorations up in our neighborhood. I like to think we were part of that shift. We always start anticipation for our haunt by having one of animated scary figures peering out through our back bedroom window. I think seeing that reminds people to get those Halloween decorations out!
ReplyDeleteMy hat is off to you. I think we owe it to be pioneers in the Halloween field. Too many people look over it as a "pagan" Holiday. I hope we all inspire at least one person, child, or group a year to at least try ;)
DeleteWhat a great and entertaining post! Made me laugh and I totally agree with you. Love the "but not in my haunt" quote.
ReplyDeleteLOL glad you liked it!
DeleteWhen I was a kid, I'd pretty much just use whatever I had on hand for our yard haunt, and that included fake cobwebs and inflatable skeletons.
ReplyDeleteI actually still like the old-fashioned plastic inflatable skeletons, they have an inherent creepiness, like mannequins do.
Lately, I've been going back to those old haunt techniques, using what is cheap and on hand.
Reading this post, I was actually thinking how neat it would be to do a "psycho yard haunter" themed haunt. Like somebody who decorates their yard to lure trick r' treaters in for the slaughter. I think you could get away with using the classic blow mold jack o' lanterns and things in a self-referential way, they'd take on a creepiness all their own.
I'm right there with you on the blow up skele. I like you idea....like the gingerbread house hiding the torture dungeon within.
DeleteOkay, mate, I'm with you on almost all of it. I see the logic. Theme is important and you just can't mix cute and creepy. I'm down. Personally I don't like to mix rustic and plastic. I love plastic, shiny, inflatable cute shit and I love rustic, harvest, spooky stuff, but they don't go together in a solid haunt.
ReplyDeleteOn the other severed hand...I do mix them. Of course I am not building a haunt so I can break that rule. I end up with something out of a Rob Zombie video. Looking forward to reports and pics without those 10 things.
HAH! I love this post!
ReplyDeleteOk, I totally agree with you on all this. I mean, I LOVE glitter and string lights for my home/party decoration, but I agree it has no place in a haunt. And as far as mixing cute with scary- doesnt work in my opinion as well. People keep suggesting our haunt does a scary Scooby Doo area- what?! No thanks! Haha!
HHH
I'm guilty of several of these. Glitter. Blowmolds. Humor. But my whole display is on the somewhat goofy side, that's what makes me happy!
ReplyDeleteAliens?? Not scary.