Backwoods Haunted House presents Pumpkin Hollow's wicKED tour!

Each year it is an absolute pleasure to visit the folks down at Backwoods. It's always a special treat if we can take somebody that has never been before. For those that are not familiar, Backwoods Haunted House is located in the middle of nowhere, on an old farm. The drive alone, down dark, unlit country roads is unnerving enough to those unfamiliar with it.

This year they presented, "Pumpkin Hollow" as the theme for the haunt. I was promised that this year it would be "radically different" and that they "shook up the whole place". I am here to tell you they delivered on those promises. The entire layout of the old haunted barn was COMPLETELY redone. You even go in what used to be the exit...and exit where the entrance used to be. Without giving away too many secrets, the pathing inside is roughly U shaped allowing a single actor to run down the center and play several...SEVERAL parts. This gives the illusion that the barn is OVERRUN with half breed, undead, mutant, hillbillies. To be quite honest, I am not sure that it wasn't!

The overall feel of the haunt is an old barn, run by a crazy, mutant, hillbilly family that are obviously cannibals. Some seem like they have been long overdue a grave for some time, but still manage to chase you down and eat you. The entire barn feels out of time, vintage, turn of the century, and super creepy! The scenario seems to be that you have made a wrong turn down this dead end country road and are seeking help from one of the family members. They will inform you that your vehicle has been stolen/vandalized/wrecked/or set on fire and that you will have to go through the barn to get help and have any chance of returning home. From the start, there is an uncomfortable feel to the situation, as if you the guest are intruding on a family that has business of it's own to tend to. This is not a haunt for the weak of body of heart. You will have to crawl, run, navigate and survive the insane maze of endless corridors inside to ever see the light of day again!

Here is the wicKED breakdown of the 2013 visit to Backwoods Haunted House, PUMPKIN HOLLOW!

GOOD

• Location is always key to a really great haunt. Haunted Apartment 6 in the Downtown area just doesn't have a good ring to it. We are talking an authentic, ancient, dilapidated, decrepit, possibly haunted barn in the middle of the deep backwoods country! The drive to this place gets you in the mood way before you hear the first scream!

• Crowd Interaction. This place is getting well known (they even have a sponsor for next year!) As such, the potential for lines is becoming HUGE. In fact, the first time we went, they were so busy, we had to reschedule. We just could not sneak around and take any pictures for groups begging to get in! They do an excellent job at keeping the crown revved up. Many creepy fellows sneak outside to hoop, holler, and jeer at the crowds. not to mention the CONSTANT banging, screaming ,and sound of horrible machinery that comes from within AT ALL TIMES! They also have members working the crowd with tall tales of what has happened in the past, warnings of what you might find inside, and a few even have missing body parts they found from hapless victims that did not make it. Not to mention friendly dogs (like Bear who I fear got eaten by one of the family)!

• Parking assistant. Parking is always a problem in an unfamiliar place. Luckily they have CLYDE! He keeps a roaring fire going for those that feel the chill of death, has a flashlight for those that need to see the way, and is so helpful in finding you a parking spot. He is also great at assisting you in backing up, and getting out! Clyde is a fixture here who I always look forward to seeing every year, although he does tell you some rather creepy stories...about him having 6 deep freezers at home....and only 3 are full of "meat"...hmmmm. 

• Atmosphere. You could not find a better location for a haunt so atmosphere is 50% taken care of. They go the extra step with the constant screaming, banging, laughing, scratching, and howling. When we arrived the second time, we smelled death! I honestly thought it was expensive scented fogs but it turns out it was the authentic smell of death....from a dead....something nearby. It was strong, but HORRIBLY unsettling.

• Sound effects were top notch. Most made by (humans?). There was an old phonograph playing some creepy music out of the 20's, which was just a great touch to the whole thing. Area specific sound effects were also key!

• Full compliment of actors. It REALLY seemed like the place was just teaming with crazies! 

• Consistent costume theme. Everything had a backwoods, wrong turn, farm kind of feel. Scarecrow faces were highly used and well done. Some may complain about the Creepy Clowns inside not fitting in, but I like to think that is how they keep themselves entertained between meals... I mean guests. 
• Small groups so the scares are directed at all. They also took requests for group size from people to ensure maximum fun. 
• Groups moved QUICKLY! This is a change from years pasts, but they have improved so much since I have been going. Proactive thinking and planning make for MUCH quicker reset times between customers. 

• Great compliment of characters. Most notably among the new ones this year were the "Cornfield Bride" and the "Mutant Monkey Midget".

• The place was a MAZE! Wrong turns, dead ends, misdirection. It is stressful just trying to get out! Plenty of places for creatures to run, hide, and grab at you as you stumble around lost!

• Lighting and effects were perfect. From malfunctioning flicker lights, to full on horrid red rooms, it is just dark enough to wonder what is ahead, but just light enough to see a hand coming at you from the crack in the wall!

• I am not a big fan of little kids in a haunt, but if done right, it can be truly eerie. Backwoods pulled this off flawlessly! 
• Constantly changing! It's like a different haunt every night. We went twice and had two different but equally great experiences!

OPPORTUNITIES

• No clear signage on main highway to direct customers. Every year I have dozens ask me how to get to it, only to tell me they gave up and couldn't find it. This year alone I have fielded at least a dozen with only half finding it. As I understand it, they have attempted signs in the past but they end up gone the next day. Not sure if it is vandals or just passing vehicles pulling them down, but I would try my best to get something to mark the way in the future. 
• Restroom. They had porta potties last year, but they were missing this year. I understand they may be getting them in for the bigger weekends. There was a group of people that left while we were waiting the first night because the girls of the group had to go....I think they were just scared myself ;) 
• Parking....this is always going to be an issue and one that will grow as does the popularity of the haunt. They may have to figure something out in  the near future. Till then, car pool with all your buddies! It's so worth it!
• Some street cloths. While overall they did a great job with the whole theme (overhauls, flannel, scarecrows etc) there were still instances of brightly colored modern logos peeking through under masks etc. This was very minimal, but easily avoided. 
• No Refreshments sold. Which is not that big a deal to the overall effect of the haunt, it would be a great way for them to cash in on some more revenue, especially if the lines grow longer and longer (as they seem to be). A couple of cans of pop and water will go a long way to satisfy guests and fill the pockets of the haunters for more haunt supplies next year!
• The Theme, 'Pumpkin Hollow" was a very cool name, but it disappoints in the end because there are no pumpkins in the haunt...not a single one that I could spot. Last years theme was expressed well throughout the haunt, this one fell a little flat.

RECOMENDATIONS

 If you noticed, most of the critiques are not about the actual HAUNTING part at all and just logistics. This group has haunting nailed! They get into character, throw the fear at you, and don't let up! I do however want them to think about their every growing popularity and with an actual sponsor for the up coming 2014 season, it will grow by leaps and bounds. With that said, I hope they consider parking obstacles, signage, refreshments and restrooms as a necessity that comes with growing pains. Earlier marketing and advertising techniques will also help them grow even further. These are definitely growing pains as they are so good at working a haunted house! They just have to decide how big they want to be.

 I also hope that they get more in line with hard hitting themes and stay with it. I really enjoyed the general idea that they tried to incorporate this year of your vehicle being stolen, or destroyed and you were going to be dinner. A little work on a back story can go a long way on delivering a truly haunting experience! These guys already have a great story to work with, just tweak it to deliver a consistent performance!

 My biggest recommendation is for them to just keep doing more of what they do....delivering a truly great Halloween experience. Keep up with the dedicated actors who really get into the part. Keep morphing, changing and improving the haunt. Keep getting weirder lighting, stranger characters, and even more twisted tunnels and paths. Just Haunt On!

Here is how they ranKED!

ATMOSPHERE

I honestly do not know how they could improve on this. Sound effects, music, location, lighting, set design, even smell are great!

COSTUME

The masks and costumes really shined this year. Unique and creepy all around. A couple of instances of street clothing popped up. Another thing would be to black out the actors eyes with makeup who have to wear some of the creature masks. Seeing human skin under the horribly cool mask can knock it down a notch. That goes a long way to making a good haunt a GREAT haunt.

SOUND EFFECTS

Most of the sound effects were man made (generated by the haunters). This is just great! There was some great creepy music playing in the background too plus they had the area specific sound effects down pat. Great job!

SET DESIGN

Really hard to improve a dilapidated and haunted barn. They did go out of there way to stock it with really creepy decor. I did see a few little Dollar Tree things that tend to stick out like a sore thumb. The overall authenticity of the place is so huge, little flubs like that look big!

ORIGINALITY

Whenever I take anyone to Backwoods for the first time, they always say, "I never saw anything like that". That is very true, it is unique and nowhere near your mainstream haunts. There are always returning characters and props, but that makes this special because they are original from the get go!

SHOWMANSHIP/ACTING

The haunters all get into character and stay there. They really go out of their way to be the "thing" they are portraying. Makes me wonder how much is acting and how much is....just coming to the surface!

FEAR FACTOR

Truly a frightening experience from finding the place, to standing in line, to the actual walk through, you will not be disappointed. From the quick jump scares, to the panicked feeling of not knowing how to find your way out of a maze...fear lives here!

REVISIT RATING

We went twice, one week apart. It was the same type of experience, but they changed just enough to make you questions everything you knew about it. Now, with the addition of the "black out" weekend (where everything is pitch black and you are given a tiny flashlight to see with), there is no reason not to go back every weekend. I always do and I have never been disappointed.

That gives Backwoods Haunted House of 2013 a wicKED ranking of 4.5 our of 5!

If you have been in the past, you need to go again as it is always improving. If you have never been, GO! Grab your friends, get the directions and spend a night of fun and fear you will never forget! When you do, tell Clyde that wicKED sent you! Just don't let him take you to his deep freezer.

FANATIC FRIDAY! Are you a Halloween fanatic? 100 questions to test yourself with!

Last season I asked 50 questions to test yourself in determining if you were truly a Halloween Fanatic. This year, I ramped it up to 100! Answer honestly to find out where you stand in the Halloween love hierarchy.

1. During the month of October, you seem to suffer from constant hot glue blisters, Dremel Tool gouges,   X-acto blade cuts, coat hanger wire scrapes, splinters, paint fume headaches, and/or hand cramps from detail work.

2. If you have ever had a pet named a Halloweeny name such as Pumpkin, Spooky, Sam Hane, Creepers, Spirit, Grim etc.

3. You fully understand what a FCG, Peppers Ghost, Bucky, and Corpseing are.

4. If you have ever had a conversation with a supervisor at work over your excessive visits to Pumkinrot.com which then leads to it being blocked from your company’s server system.

5. You stalk your local stores, starting at the end of August, for Halloween merchandise.

6. You bargain shop for pumpkins.

7. When camping or hiking, you make continual references to the movie “Friday the 13th” and even go so far as to mimic the title soundtrack of that movie under your breath.

8. Instead of having a Christmas Club Account or a Rainy Day Jar, you have a Halloween Cash Stash.

9. Whenever you see a full moon, you have to howl at it.

10. You take vacation time in October for Halloween projects.

11. You tell at least one family member about  Krampus during a Christmas gathering.

12. You request Halloween off at your job a year in advance.

13. Whenever a Friday the 13th rolls around on your calendar, you treat it as a semi holiday. 

14. You have a nagging fear in the back of your mind that you will be sick on Halloween night.

15. You start obsessing over weather forecast for October 31 at least 3 weeks prior to the date.

16. Your "Black Friday" is whatever day the retails stores put their Halloween merchandise on 50% off.

17. If you have ever gotten into a heated debate with another person over the fact that “Trick or Treat” and “Trick r Treat” are two completely different movies not related to each other in the least.

18. If you have ever received or requested something Halloween related for your birthday and/or Christmas.

19. You plan a special trip every year to a wholesale outlet to buy batteries and LED tea lights.

20. When on summer vacation to a warm sunny place, you manage to find and purchase something for Halloween.

21. If you ever questions yourself as to whether you are a hoarder when packing up or taking out your Halloween decorations.

22. Anytime you see the colors orange and black together, you automatically think "Halloween!". 

23. You realize you have an inordinate amount of black cloth.

24. Your DVR is set to record more Halloween related shows than normal programming during the 

month of October.

25. If you own more than 5 Halloween themed cookbooks

26. Pumpkin flavored food and drinks are highly coveted by you.

27. You would trade in your current vehicle, even though it is new, for a hearse in a heartbeat.

28. If you find yourself opting for a very expensive video/digital camera just for Halloween pictures.

29. You landscape your yard during Spring and Summer for maximum creep factor in fall such as Sugar Maples and Red Oaks for fall colors or creepy gnarled bushes and trees for use in a yard haunt.

30. People post scary pictures on your Facebook with comments like, “Saw this and thought of you”, or “Look this reminds me of you!”

31. You stop mowing your yard for the month of October to make your house look scarier. 

32. You have Halloween costumes  and toys for your pets.

33. If a cashier has ever asked you, "Are you building a bomb?" when you are shopping for Halloween.

34. If you have ever pissed off a mail man or garbage man  with a hidden prop.

35. You stockpile PVC, scrap wood, wire, miss mixed paint, Duct Tape, newspaper, and rebar all year.

36. If you have ever had a serious conversation with a local hunter as to what his plans for a freshly killed deer’s skull were.

37. If you have ever thrown away perfectly good storage items to make room for just one more Halloween tote.

38. If you have gotten a haircut/style specifically for a Halloween costume or party. 

39. Your idea of prime Halloween shopping locations includes Thrift stores, Yard/Garage sales, and Goodwill.

40. The company you work for always asks you to help decorate for Halloween for them.

41. You plan your weekend destinations based on store locations that are selling a particular Halloween item.

42. If you have every taken out a loan or applied for a Credit Card specifically for Halloween purchases. 

43. If you ever dismantled another Holiday decoration to create something for Halloween.

44. You start dreaming up your Halloween Costume in June.

45. You have spreadsheets, word docs, aps, budget programs, design software etc, to prep for Halloween.

46. You're the first on your block to decorate for Halloween.

47. Whenever you buy new furniture, your first thought is , “How is this going to look/work during Halloween parties”.

48. Your Halloween decorations are up in September.

49. If you have ever talked a spouse/significant other into allowing you to fund and build a coffin because it will also serve as a great storage space.

50. If you have ever found yourself cooking something and thinking, "How can I make this look really gross for a Halloween Party.".

51. You spring cleaning comes in October…..right before your Halloween Party.

52. You shop for treat bag toys/goodies year round.

53. You find yourself secretly excited because you just heard a Halloween related song on the radio or TV.

54. If you have ever chastised a fellow Halloween Haunter for using cutesy store bought scarecrows in their Halloween displays.

55. You make a big deal out of seeing the first Halloween commercial of the year. 

56. Before throwing out anything broken or old, such as furniture, electronics, or clothes, you consider if it could be used for a Halloween prop.

57. You have at least one Halloween ring tone on your cell.

58. If you have ever felt the need to shake the hand of a Haunted House employee because they did such a great job.

59. There is at least one Halloween item that stays up year round in your home.

60. If you have ever heckled somebody for using inflatable Halloween decorations.

61. People ask you if they can borrow a costume to scare somebody.....and it is July.

62. If you have ever “stolen” a neighbors bagged leaves for your displays.

63. Somebody brings to your attention, during the month of October, that you have strange red stains on your hand, fingers, or feet.

64. If the police have ever been called or just stopped to investigate one of your props.

65. Whenever visiting a graveyard, you can't help but look at the tombstones for inspiration. 

66. If you have ever left a spider web up when cleaning because, “it looks so darn cool”.

67. You surprise yourself at the amount of black and gray spray paint you go through.

68. If you have ever dug up a section of your yard to plant pumpkins.

69. You carry coupons in your wallet/purse from September 1st through Halloween for various Halloween stores.

70. When shopping for a new house, some of the main items you consider are , is there room for Halloween parties, how will it look decorated, will trick or treaters come to this house, and is there enough storage for my Halloween stuff. 

71. You see one of your lesser known neighbors out in a store and they refer to you as, “that guy that likes Halloween so much”.

72. You have friends who bring over their friends to see your house during Halloween.

73. You know the difference in a Bucky and a Blucky.

74. Your neighbors start asking you about your Halloween plans in August.

75. If you have ever gotten into an argument with a complete stranger because they swear you can buy a hand made crank ghost or Pepper's ghost illusion at Walmart. 

76. Whenever you enter your local thrift/farmers market/ Goodwill store, the employees there push creepy Halloween items your way as soon as they see you.

77. In your collection of everyday hanging pictures in your house, there is at least one picture of you or your family in Halloween costumes.

78. Your idea engagement proposal (giving or receiving) involves Halloween or at least a costume.

79. If you have ever purchased a security camera. Not for your house or your car, but your display.

80. You have a special drawer or place in the closet for Halloween themed clothing and t shirts.

81. You have a secret family recipe, passed down over generations, for a Halloween related food or drink.

82. Your family and friends are always on the look out for strange bottles and jars to add to your apothecary display.

83. If you have ever had people give you strange looks because you remind your partner very loudly in 

Walamrt, “Don’t forget to get some more blood, we need it for the party!”

84. If you have ever been interrupted midsentence by somebody proclaiming ,”Boy! You sure are into Halloween!”.

85. If you get random picture messages from friends containing Halloween displays or merchandise.

86. If you have ever studied a real spider's web for inspiration on a prop.

87. You are always asked your opinion on the latest scary movies/TV shows.

88. It's the first weekend of September and you already feel behind on your Halloween preparations.

89. If you have ever been house hunting and told your realtor, “Haunted” is one of the features you are looking for.

90. You go to haunted attractions in costume.

91. Your computer, tablet, or phone has a Halloween theme on it.

92. You have totes or boxes in your home that are labeled “body parts” or “zombies”.

93. You receive an achievement award at your work place and win a Halloween Costume Contest trophy on the same day and you are more thrilled about the trophy.

94. You have kept either an old dead tree or a large broken limb because, “It would look cool in your haunt”.

95. You take pride in giving out the best treat bags in town.

96. You stare longingly at the Dremel Pumpkin Tool set whenever you are in Lowes.

97. If a neighborhood child has ever asked you if any of your yard haunt decorations are “real”.

98. Jehovah’s Witnesses pass by quickly and nervously without making eye contact whenever you have your yard decorations out.

99. You have had a serious discussion with a fellow Halloween head about who is “the hottest” zombie chick in a movie.

100. You start your own blog about Halloween.

Now tally up your score. You get one point for every questions you answered yes to. Check below to see where you stand!

0 - 15 You're an Oops!

You most likely found my blog by accident. Sorry if I scared you.

16-30 You're a Participator

With less than a week till Halloween, you better dig out that paper skeleton and that apple sized plastic pumpkin you decorate with every year. 

 31- 60 You're a Fan

You decorate. You celebrate. You most likely dress up each year and hand out candy from your decorated door.

61- 90 You're a Fanatic!

Your house is a work of Halloween art. Your Halloween Holiday spans weeks while you prepare and decorate. You most likely have an annual party and most of your decorations/costume are hand made. You  have the best treat bags on the block and set a huge budget for your Halloween spending.

91-100 You are the INCARNATION OF SAMHAIN!

 The neighborhood children better bring a change of underwear when they come to your house for treats.  

   Hope that sheds some light on your true feeling for Halloween. Let me know how you scored this year!

Wicked plays in The Haunted Park

The Haunted Park almost went unnoticed by me in my own hometown. I even drove by the park in the daylight to see if something was going on and never saw a sign of a haunt. One of my good friends told me he had saw “small slips of paper” at the checkout of a Spiritllalloween store in Kingsport TN which is about an hour drive from us. These “slips” proclaimed there was indeed a haunt at the park in my hometown but they were only open on Saturdays. First off, that is sad there was little to no advertising on this. You can print off 100 color flyers at home for under 5 bucks. Using social media sights like Facebook and Twitter are free. They did post some pictures but they only did it like 2 or three times and most of them did not have any info on them. They were creepy cool pictures of the local area which are AWESOME, but still, they could have done more with them. There were no signs in towns, no signs in any shops (that I could tell) nothing to even let on that there was a haunt being put on by Parks and Rec dept.

I wish somebody would have reached out to me as I would have been glad to not only drive business there way (2000 to 5000 hits daily) but I would have helped them advertise free of charge like I do for the other local haunts. I hope that next year, somebody will reach out to me or at least reply back to me about the haunt in time for me to do them some good.

I had sent several inquiries to the town asking for information on the haunt but received no reply so I was unable to do a proper video/photo review. I just do not show up uninvited and ask to trespass without permission. That is why this review will be based on my observations only. I really hope next year I can officially get it done right. Here is the good and the bad.

GOOD 

• It was one of the longer lasting haunts. What it lacks in pure fear it makes up for in entertainment. 

• There was a haunted hay ride at the end that drops you right back off at your vehicle. Of course, there are dangers awaiting the hayride as you go. 

• Super friendly and fun loving actors. I literally laughed till I was sore at the main clown guy that followed us all the way through. I keep hearing him say in his funny clown voice “Pitooey! I got clown hair in my jaw! It’s nasty! Been sweating on it all night and it tastes like poopey!”. The little goblin kid with the EXTREMELY long nose was just as funny. Not to mention the pint size Chihuahua Werewolf with the silver pistols kept making me jump as he followed us around.

• They had refreshments for sale and a nice fire pit to keep you warm while you wait.

• Plenty of Parking. 

• Rest room access. 

• The location is great and historic. It is a stone structure that reminds you of an ancient dungeon complete with dank smell. 

• This is a perfect haunt for younger kids or highly skittish adults. You really get your money’s worth in entertainment. 

• The decorations in the stone under bleacher area were pretty good. 

NOT SO GOOD 

• As great as the location is, it is under utilized. I would be making the most of every square foot of the stone structure. 

• The haunted hayride while fun and very convenient is sadly more hayride than haunt. There were 2 chainsaw freaks that did a great job of running down the ride, but it could have been something mind numbing if they had the man power to do it, 

• The outdoor area was lacking with it’s decoration. 

• The only sound effects I heard were made by actors. I did hear a generic scary CD cut on as we left the park.

• Severe lack of advertising.

• Most of the actors were small (9 or 10 years old). This can be creepy...but it can also be a let down sometimes.

• It was a completely odd experience. More of a fun house experience than a haunt.

Here is how they ranKED on the wicKED scale!

ATMOSPHERE 

The location is GREAT! The stone structure could be so 

much more than they allow. 

COSTUME

There were some good masks but mostly street clothes. 

They could have done much better in my opinion.

SOUND EFFECTS

There was none other than the human sound effects the actors made (They did give it an earnest and valiant effort though!).

SET DESIGN

There actually was some decent props and scenes set under the bleacher but it was few and far between.

ORIGINALITY

As far as originality goes, this is your typical small town October fair fun house type attraction. 

FEAR FACTOR 

The scares in this haunt are more the jump out and startle you kind. This is more of an entertainment attraction than an outright haunt. 

SHOWMANSHIP 

The Clown was absolutely hilarious! I have not laughed that much in a long while. The other actors did a great job for their age (mostly younger kids). The actors believed in what they were doing and they were really trying.

REVISIT RATING 

This is one of those “one and done” attractions unless you have younger kids that are looking for a Halloween thrill.  If you have children or older members that don't feel like wetting their pants like at the other local Haunted Attractions, then this is the perfect event for you to go see again and again.

This gives The Haunted Park of 2012 a wicKED ranking of  2.5 out of 5 Grimaces!

You absolutely get your money’s worth out of this attraction. I highly recommend it for families as it would be a perfect October weekend outing. This attraction lacks the mind-numbing dread of Backwoods and the chilling horror scenes of The Haunted Forest but it is entertaining. It kind of reminds me of an old fun house ride more than an actually Haunted House attraction so be prepared for an odd, if not fun event.
Drop by and experience it for yourself!