Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wicked plays in The Haunted Park

The Haunted Park almost went unnoticed by me in my own hometown. I even drove by the park in the daylight to see if something was going on and never saw a sign of a haunt. One of my good friends told me he had saw “small slips of paper” at the checkout of a Spiritllalloween store in Kingsport TN which is about an hour drive from us. These “slips” proclaimed there was indeed a haunt at the park in my hometown but they were only open on Saturdays. First off, that is sad there was little to no advertising on this. You can print off 100 color flyers at home for under 5 bucks. Using social media sights like Facebook and Twitter are free. They did post some pictures but they only did it like 2 or three times and most of them did not have any info on them. They were creepy cool pictures of the local area which are AWESOME, but still, they could have done more with them. There were no signs in towns, no signs in any shops (that I could tell) nothing to even let on that there was a haunt being put on by Parks and Rec dept.

I wish somebody would have reached out to me as I would have been glad to not only drive business there way (2000 to 5000 hits daily) but I would have helped them advertise free of charge like I do for the other local haunts. I hope that next year, somebody will reach out to me or at least reply back to me about the haunt in time for me to do them some good.

I had sent several inquiries to the town asking for information on the haunt but received no reply so I was unable to do a proper video/photo review. I just do not show up uninvited and ask to trespass without permission. That is why this review will be based on my observations only. I really hope next year I can officially get it done right. Here is the good and the bad.


  • It was one of the longer lasting haunts. What it lacks in pure fear it makes up for in entertainment. 
  • There was a haunted hay ride at the end that drops you right back off at your vehicle. Of course, there are dangers awaiting the hayride as you go. 

  • Super friendly and fun loving actors. I literally laughed till I was sore at the main clown guy that followed us all the way through. I keep hearing him say in his funny clown voice “Pitooey! I got clown hair in my jaw! It’s nasty! Been sweating on it all night and it tastes like poopey!”. The little goblin kid with the EXTREMELY long nose was just as funny. Not to mention the pint size Chihuahua Werewolf with the silver pistols kept making me jump as he followed us around.

  • They had refreshments for sale and a nice fire pit to keep you warm while you wait.
  • Plenty of Parking. 
  • Rest room access. 

  • The location is great and historic. It is a stone structure that reminds you of an ancient dungeon complete with dank smell. 
  • This is a perfect haunt for younger kids or highly skittish adults. You really get your money’s worth in entertainment. 
  • The decorations in the stone under bleacher area were pretty good. 


  • As great as the location is, it is under utilized. I would be making the most of every square foot of the stone structure. 
  • The haunted hayride while fun and very convenient is sadly more hayride than haunt. There were 2 chainsaw freaks that did a great job of running down the ride, but it could have been something mind numbing if they had the man power to do it, 
  • The outdoor area was lacking with it’s decoration. 
  • The only sound effects I heard were made by actors. I did hear a generic scary CD cut on as we left the park.
  • Severe lack of advertising.
  • Most of the actors were small (9 or 10 years old). This can be creepy...but it can also be a let down sometimes.
  • It was a completely odd experience. More of a fun house experience than a haunt.

Here is how they ranKED on the wicKED scale!


The location is GREAT! The stone structure could be so 
much more than they allow. 


There were some good masks but mostly street clothes. 
They could have done much better in my opinion.


There was none other than the human sound effects the actors made (They did give it an earnest and valiant effort though!).


There actually was some decent props and scenes set under the bleacher but it was few and far between.


As far as originality goes, this is your typical small town October fair fun house type attraction. 


The scares in this haunt are more the jump out and startle you kind. This is more of an entertainment attraction than an outright haunt. 


The Clown was absolutely hilarious! I have not laughed that much in a long while. The other actors did a great job for their age (mostly younger kids). The actors believed in what they were doing and they were really trying.


This is one of those “one and done” attractions unless you have younger kids that are looking for a Halloween thrill.  If you have children or older members that don't feel like wetting their pants like at the other local Haunted Attractions, then this is the perfect event for you to go see again and again.

This gives The Haunted Park of 2012 a wicKED ranking of  2.5 out of 5 Grimaces!

You absolutely get your money’s worth out of this attraction. I highly recommend it for families as it would be a perfect October weekend outing. This attraction lacks the mind-numbing dread of Backwoods and the chilling horror scenes of The Haunted Forest but it is entertaining. It kind of reminds me of an old fun house ride more than an actually Haunted House attraction so be prepared for an odd, if not fun event.
Drop by and experience it for yourself!

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