Shockingly Sinister Shorts #19

*Two brothers and a sister find themselves ripped from their home and confined in a very strange and alien place. A square room with 4 smooth walls and an open ceiling that is much too high to climb or jump to. The floor is layered in a strange, almost fuzzy covering that makes it very difficult to walk on. *

Little sister: What are we going to do? Where is mother? What do you think they did with her? 

Little brother: I have never seen anything like this place. Where are we?

Big brother: I have no idea guys but I plan on finding out. WHAT IS THAT? LOOK!

*As the three siblings watch in horror, a giant being with long hairless arms reaches into the square enclosure they have been confined to. They all scream in terror but the impossibly large alien being is unrelenting as it snatches up their sister and lifts her up and out of the enclosure.*

Little brother : WHAT WAS THAT THING THAT GRABBED HER?

Big brother: I don’t know, but I bet that creature had something to do with mother missing. They just better not hurt our sister or they will pay.

*After a few minutes, the giant creature returns with their sister in tow, it's massive hand like appendage almost completely engulfing her. The enormous being plops her down unceremoniously and she runs to the protection of her siblings. The creature is not finished as it leans it freakishly large head over and smiles showing rows of giant white teeth. It grabs up the smaller brother and hauls him up and away as he screams out in horror.*

Big brother: Are you ok? Did they hurt you?

Little sister: It was horrible! There were two of those giant things out there. They examined me all over and spoke in a strange language. One of them forced some really nasty yellow stuff down my throat with a tube thing and then they tried to make me drink from a strange object that smelled really funny. I just kept my mouth shut tight and they gave up and brought me back.

Big brother: Did you see mother?

Little sister: No but I am sure they have done something with her. Oh what will we do?

*The towering creature returns a few minutes later and drops the smaller brother back into the enclosure. It quickly snatches up the larger of the two male siblings. Despite his best efforts to escape the huge hand, even going so far as to bite down on it, the large creature whisks him up and away.*

Little sister: Are you ok?

Little brother : Yes, but what do they want from us? Why are we here? Why do they make us drink that horrible yellow stuff and examine us all over like that?

Little sister: I don’t know. I really don’t know. I just hope this ends soon. I am so scared!

*A few minutes later, the giant returns to loom over the square confined space. The massive hand returns the missing sibling. The giant head leans close and examines them all with eyes as large as their head. After it completes it's visual inspection the head zooms up and out of sight.*

Little brother: Are you ok?

Big brother: Yeah I am fine. They examined me all over, even looked in my ears and mouth. They made me drink nasty yellow stuff too. I honestly don’t think they mean us harm. Despite being so big, they were surprisingly gentle with me. One of the even hugged me up and patted my head like it was trying to calm me down. This has been a very strange day. If we stick together, I think we will make it through this ok.

*The three siblings huddle together and try to catch some sleep before the immensely huge creatures return and perform more confusing experiments on them.*

Giant creature 1: I feel bad for them. They are scared to death!

Giant creature 2: Yeah me too. Poor things. I hate that their mother was run over by a truck. Luckily somebody brought them here so we could at least try and give them a fighting chance at survival. I wonder what those poor little guys think about this whole thing?

Shockingly Sinister Shorts #18

*A small boy cries out for his father in the middle of the night. His father rushes into the boy’s room half asleep. Pointing franticly at his closet door, the cowering boy screams that he just saw a monster slither inside.*

Father: Calm down son. What is it now?

Terrified boy: It’s a monster! It slithered into the closet! It looks like a long skinny red snake with boney hands and a big mouth full of teeth! It’s eyes glow red like the devil!

Father: Now son we have talked about this. You know there are no such things as monsters.

Terrified boy: No dad, It’s real! I just saw it!

Father: Three days ago when you said you saw this snake thing at the window. I opened it up and looked and nothing was there.

Terrified boy: That’s when you let it inside!

Father: Two days ago you said it was under your bed. When I looked, there was nothing there.

Terrified boy: You chased it behind the dresser then.

Father: Last night you said it was behind the dresser. I pulled the whole thing out, and nothing was there.

Terrified boy: You ran it into my closet. Really dad I saw it peeking out at me. It is there! Right in the bottom of the closet. Please check for me.

Father: Ok. I am going to check this one last time. When I find nothing, you have to promise that you are done with this whole monster business.

*The father opens the closet door as the boy cowers under the covers. The boy peeks out to see what happens next. The father gets on his hands and knees and makes a huge production about searching for the “monster”. He throws clothes and toys about as he digs deep into the back of the closet. After a few minutes he stops suddenly, stands up, and exits the closet. He heads for the door out of the room when he freezes mid step, turns, and speaks to his son in a strange, raspy voice.*

Father: You have some good eyes boy. Too good!

Terrified boy: Why do you say that? Why are you talking that way?

Father: You always could see where I was hiding and I always had to find a new place to keep your parents from finding me. Well, tonight I found a really good hiding place. Just scream if you see a monster!

So disappointed in Fact or Faked Bluegrass Bigfoot (Season 2 Ep216). Woodboogers are safe from these guys.

   I have been a huge fan of SyFy's Fact or Faked series...until last night. 

Pose if you are clueless!

   The team looked at a Kentucky game camera's picture of a supposed bigfoot and took off to investigate it. The sad thing is, numerous other TV shows, news programs, and Bigfoot experts/websites have debunked this to death! Over the last three years the creature in the picture has been proven, time and time again, to be a crow. 

Here is the video clip from History Channel's "Monsterquest" TV show that debunked it first:

Here is the clip from CNN debunking the same picture:

   The sad thing is this is just 2 of SEVERAL expert and or professional groups that have debunked this same photo over and over again. Even Cliff Barackman of the "Finding Bigfoot" series did a post on his blog about this not long ago. [LINK HERE]

    I have two huge questions here. First, is the paranormal/supernatural community so stagnant that this show is forced to use very old, dated, and debunked evidence to create episodes? Second: Since there seems to be an never ending flow of strange photos, videos, and other evidence, WHICH STAFF MEMBER ON THIS SHOW IS RESPONSIBLE FOR NOT DOING THE RESEARCH ON THIS EVIDENCE? All they would have had to do is Google it and they would have found countless other shows that have already examined this photo and done a way better job at investigating it than they did.

   How odd that my fellow blogger, Jessica Penot of the Ghost Stories and Haunted Places Blog, did a post yesterday lamenting the lack of investigative efforts of the show. Although the show she speaks of was an earlier show that dealt with ectoplasm, it points to the same problem. This leads me to believe they have a VERY out of touch research producer that would greatly benefit from reading and or search engines.
    If SyFy doesn't do something about their researcher on this show, I suspect we will see an episode where the Fact or Faked crew go searching for Sasquatch in the beef jerky section of supermarkets:

Shockingly Sinister Shorts #17

*A mailman pulls up to a quaint little farm cottage in the country. He unloads three large boxes and heads to the front door. After ringing the bell, an older gentleman answers the door.*

Curious Mailman: I got some more packages for you. That is like the 20th shipment of packages you have received this month.

Older gentleman: Yes, I supposed it is.

Curious mailman: If you don't mind me asking, what are all these for? It is policy I report any odd mail related things back to the office.

Older gentleman: I guess this does look suspicious. I tell you what, it would be easier for me to show you. Come around to the back cellar.

*The Mailman follows him around the back of the house then down a long flight of steps into a dark cellar where he reveals a huge machine that looks like something right out of a mad scientist lab.*

Curious Mailman: Holy heck! What is this huge thing?

Older gentleman: I call it The Eraser. This machine uses titanium blades, fire, and a variety of acids to completely erase something. Let’s say I wanted to get rid of a car. I would put the car into the main opening and within 20 minutes this machine would reduce it into less than an ounce of unidentifiable carbon. That is what I have been working on for the last 10 years and why I have also had so many packages lately. It requires a huge amount of maintenance to keep it running.

Curious Mailman: WOW! What exactly would you use this machine for?

Older gentleman : Well…so far, I have only used it on two really nosey Mailmen… you will be the third.

Monday's Monster Media (May Monster Madness Day 7)

   Today is the last day for the first (annual) May Monster Madness. I just wanted to thank Annie for creating and steamrolling this effort into existence and Emma, my minion in crime, for all the fun and help. This blog hop was a huge success and I also want to thank all those bloggers that participated in this week of whimsy.

   My final M.M.M. post is Monsters in the News. Without further delay... ON TO THE NEWS!:

Werewolf/Vampire Hybrids on the rise!

   A vampire crossed with a werewolf to produce a hybrid sounds pretty bad ass!

  Unfortunately they looks nothing like the picture above. They actually looks pretty pathetic and their actions, even more so!

The only monstrous thing about her are those eyebrows. 

   A Florida "woman" is in jail as a murder suspect. She is accused of killing a 16 year old boy. What is ever more shocking.... SHE CLAIMS SHE IS A VAMPIRE WEREWOLF HYBRID!

  The creature from Florida claims, "Since I was like, 12...I know this is going to be crazy, but I believe that I'm a vampire. Part of a vampire and part of a werewolf." Although she admits neither of her parents are vampires or werewolves, or that she has ever been bitten, attacked, scratched, or even genetically manipulated by a government scientist. It is extremely unclear how she became this mythical concoction of monster. [Full Story Here]

    

    But wait! There's more vampire/werewolf hybrid crime going down!

Apparently one of the side effect of being a hybrid is severe stupidity.

  A 19 year old Pennsylvania man is being charged with sexual assault of a 15 year old girl, but also claims that he is a werewolf/vampire hybrid. Like that makes it ok to date minors. When he was arrested he wanted to prove to the arresting officer that he was indeed a hybrid, so he showed him his canine teeth. The officer was quick to respond to this irrefutable proof by telling the hybrid, "All mammals have canines." This Einstein of the monster hybrid community also went on to say he had a tattoo of a guardian dragon that would, "Protect him from evildoers". Well at least that worked. It is protecting you by helping you get arrested. [Full Story Here]

   So it would seem that when you cross a vampire and a werewolf, you end up with a super lame monster. What would you call that anyhow? A wampire or a verevolf?

Wisconsin man claims a ghost beat his wife.... not him!

Ghostbuster? Sam and Dean? Zak? Grant and Jason! Please send help! I was framed!

   A man and his wife got into an argument that quickly escalated out of control. When the man attempted to strangle her twice she called 911. As officers were arresting the struggling and drunken man, he claimed he was not only innocent, but the victim of mistaken identity. The real attacker, that left bruises on his wife's neck and bloodied her nose, was in fact a ghost! Since there was no ghost at the scene (because they vanish like that when cops show up!), they arrested the husband. [Full Story Here]

   The ghost refused to comment.

Teenage Werewolf Gangs run rampant in San Antonio Texas!

   Apparently there are gangs of werewolves in Texas and they like to hang out in malls under the full moon. 

   One of the mothers of the "werewolves" claimed they were just good kids having some innocent fun. That is until one of the werekids killed a neighbors dog, decapitated it, and then took pictures of it. The wereteen being accused of this, Wolfie Blackheart, has to be seen to be believed. 

   Another teenage werewolf pack was questions about this behavior. They commented, "Those are no werewolves.... where are their abs?"

SUPERMOON could be to blame for rash of stupid were creatures.

   Saturday night, the world was all looking to the heavens to get a look at the "supermoon" of the year. This full moon would be closer to the earth that any other time of the year, giving photographers a rare chance at ultra clear and large photos. 

I was able to capture my own pictures of the super moon.

WAIT! If there is a supermoon.... that can only mean one thing!

Bizarre "turd colored" creature accused of dragging children into tanning booths. 

   If you have been following this pathetic excuse of a monster on TV, then you know my ire. What gets me is the insults she throws calling others "ugly" and herself beautiful. I have never been called ugly by an old catchers mitt with eyes, but there is a first time for everything. From some of the interviews, her brain seems to have been tanned as well as she calls "Snooki"  from Jersey Shore "Snoopy".[FULL STORY HERE]

Her brother was unavailable for questions. 

    I hope they detain this creature soon and lock it up in the dark where it's skin can peel off and hopefully lead a somewhat normal life. 

Octomom claims bankruptcy and signs up to do porn. Porn industry files for bankruptcy 10 minutes later. 

    Despite still paying $500 dollars for haircuts, the Octobeast claims she is 1 million dollars in debt. After filling for bankruptcy, she then signed on to do porn. The earth's axis shifted by a few degrees as men all over the world, simultaneously puked. [FULL STORY HERE]

   Nobody wants to see this monster's "pain cave" where she spewed out an insane amount of offspring all at once. She is more cockroach than human. The only people that are interested in the porn tapes are Weightwatchers because, "nobody could eat after seeing that monster vagina". 

    I have been lucky (or unlucky) enough to have an actual image from the upcoming pron movie. I warn you, this image is graphic! Proceed with caution! 

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

i

Top 8 places for monsters to hide. (May Monster Madness Day 6)

   Most of my May Monster Madness posts have dealt with more mature monster themes, but what about when we were kids? To a kid, monsters were a part of every day life. Every dark corner could hold one waiting to pounce. How many times can you recall peeking out from under the covers and being absolutely sure a monster was going to be waiting there for you?

 Usually a kid is safe under the covers, but I was not so lucky. I had this irrational fear that something was under the covers with me... so there was no refuge for me!

  This brings me to today's post. The top 8 places that monsters hide (childhood version).

#8 Behind the shower curtain/in bathtub.

#7 In the attic.

#6 In the toilet.

#5 In the basement.

#4 Outside the window.

#3 In the dark itself.

#2 In the closet.

#1 UNDER THE BED!