Vampires, Zombies, and grave robbers OH MY!

   Strange news has been piling up on my desk for a week now. Most of it seems appropriate for this time of year. I thought I would drop a post today to review some of the crazy stuff going on in the world as well as some more mundane things in my own wicKED world.
   Let's start with the mild, namely personal stuff. We managed to dig out a few things last night in prep for the wicKED weeKEnD of decorating. Among them was a jack-o.
   Emma from the Little Gothic Horrors blog wanted to see my re-proposed stand with a jack-o so I obliged:

   Another great suggestion from Marilyn Girling of the art bliss blog gave me a great suggestion for a crystal ball like effect. Here is the outcome of that suggestion : 

   Love the glow it has in the dark. Gonna try it with a black or blue light later!

    Later today I will be pulling out close to 75 totes of Halloween as well as several large static props from my out building. Part of doing this is repair. Several of the scarecrows need extensive repairs and some need to be redone completely. Repair is always going to be a part of Halloween prep. Case in point, I have had to use a soldering iron to repair some of my old spirit electronic items (haunters this is a great thing to have if you think you can manage soldering wires to a circuit board, it will save you big cash on replacement).
   On this Autumn Equinox Eve, I sit here with equal parts dread and anticipation of the un-decorating and re decorating of the yard and house. This evening will be full of  lots of moving and staging in prep. I am glad I am not going into this alone!

   That about sums up all the personal news from me. Except for my Jason prop startling me every single morning in the guest bathroom.

   I should leave myself a note reminding me he is stored there.

   Moving on to other wicKED news, Nicolas Cage is a vampire :

   According to antiques dealer, Jack Mord, Cage is an undead blood sucker. Mord listed a picture of a man from Bristol Tennessee (my neck of the woods) dating back to 1870 who he claims is unmistakably the modern day actor. He goes on to suggest that Cage looks untouched by the hands of time over his many years in the lime light and that as a vampire, he "reinvents" himself every 75 years or so. Mord was asking for $1 millions dollars for the picture proving the actors undead existence.
   I have seen Nicolas Cage's performance in "Vampire's Kiss". That performance proves to me he is in no way a vampire. That, or a clever performance to throw would be hunters off his trail... hmmm.
  To make this an even stranger tale, the listing on ebay has completely disappeared without a trace and Jack Mord has been unavailable for comment. Could Cage be draining the man in a dark cave somewhere? Most likely he has just kidnapped the antiques dealer and is forcing him to watch  "Ghost Rider" over and over.

     Another creepy news tidbit comes from close to my home as well. This is a strange case of hearse stealing and body snatching:

    According to Beckley West Virginia Police, a woman jumped in a hearse and took off with a body in the back.

   The woman, Angela Dehart of Beaver West Virginia, had grown tired of riding with a male companion and jumped out of his car. She came upon the hearse with the door ajar and engine running, and decided to cruise in seasonal style. Unfortunately, the cadaver of an 85 year old woman was in the back of the hearse when it was jacked.
   A friend of Angela Dehart called police when he saw her pull up with a black hearse in front of his home.  Police arrived to find the hearse and the body of the woman, who had fallen off the gurney on her side.  This social reject now faces two felony charges for grand larceny and displacement of a dead body.
    Too bad there is not a law against being a dumbass.... maybe she will get haunted!

   Now we move to news from far across the pond in Ireland where archaeologist have uncovered two 8th century bodies buried with stones in their mouths.
   Apparently back in the day, this was a sure fire way to prevent the undead from coming back and "chewing" through the grave to feed on the living.  The stones were quite large and "violently" shoved into the mouths of the dead men. 

   The excavation site contained over 3000 bodies, but these were the only two found with this preventive measure. They were also side by side which would suggest this was not an accidental death for these two souls.
   If only the ancient Irish had saw "Night of the Living Dead", they would have been better prepared to handle these two miscreants.
   
   That about does it for this post. Time to start moving totes of Halloween goodness. Hope everybody has a wicKED Friday/Autumn Equinox Eve.

Rainy day project of evil (or how to keep from losing it cause you can't work on your big Halloween projects outside)

   This time of year, there is so much to do. Every minute could/should be filled with working towards our party, decorations, and yard haunt.  The rain is confounding me greatly.
   Thankfully, my ever eagle eyed mother found a candle at a yard sale that she thought I could "spook up".

   The little fat cherubs stared at me with blank mockery. My mother told me if I could not use it, just toss it and give the coconut scented candle to my girlfriend. With all I have to do on my plate, that was a possibility. Looking closer at the candle holder, I saw there were oak leaves at the bottom of the cherubs feet. This was a good sign. Since the rain was keeping me away from my large projects, I grabbed some paint and started to work on "spooking up" this Victorian reject.
    Here is the finished product :

   Not bad. I was planning on doing some more detail, but my girlfriend said she liked it the way it is. I am not sure if I will use it as a candle holder still.

   I think a fat red candle would look good, but those are all packed up (till the dang rain stops).

   It could function as a pumpkin holder in a pinch. I bet a sinister jack-o-lantern would look good (again packed away and can't get em out due to rain).

   Something about this seems very Shakespearean to me. I had to use the Target glow in the dark skull because all of my good, realistic ones are... well you know where they are. I think I like the skull.
   I am looking for opinions. What should it hold? Should I do more detail work? Should I buy a huge umbrella? I look forward to your wicKED comments.

Minions of Misery

 
   Looks like I have a mission to complete in my otherwise hum drum day. Turns out a fellow blogger, Emma from Little Gothic Horrors, has chosen me to be a Minion of Misery.

   She in turn was chosen to carry on this grisly task by another fellow blog author, Slowdeath77 of the Horror Smorgasbord blog. This will require me to post about a dark book, a dark movie, and a dark secret about yours truly. When I have completed these tasks, I must then choose 3 others to bestow this dark mantel of responsibility upon. I think I am up to this task so without further delay, into the darkness...

DARK BOOK

   My dark book of choice is Haunted. In a nutshell, Haunted revolves around a writers retreat encompassing 17 writers who hope this three month retreat will help them to write the next great novel.
   Each chapter  has three parts which tell the story of the individual author at the retreat, a poem about the specific author written by an unknown source, and the story which the that writer produces.
   The characters are pretty unique, from the socialite who pretends to be a  homeless person to avoid her boring rich friends to the religious zealot who carries a bowling ball around and makes obscure comments about it maybe being a murder weapon.
   The setting seems to be the ideal place for struggling writers. Good food, isolation, and comfortable accommodations are the making for a great brainstorming session, but things soon turns sinister. Paranoia and bravado create a chaotic maelstrom of survival in unbearable conditions!
   If your looking for a dark book with even darker humor, grab it!

DARK MOVIE
   

   My pick for dark movie is Ghost Story. This is a good old fashioned ghost story set in a New England backdrop. The Chowder Society, consisting of four highly successful elderly gentleman, have been keeping a 50 year old secret. A series of deaths begin to form a pattern of a vengeful spirit which forces the secret to be revealed.
   Sex, vengeance, thrills and chills make this a good movie for this time of year. One scene towards the end of the movie had a profound effect on my young mind when I first saw it some 20ish years ago. I hope it has the same effect on yours.....

DARK SECRET

   When I was 14 years old, I had a friend who lived a few block up the street from me. He had an uncle who just got out of prison for an unknown violent crime. That uncle decided to move in with my friend's family unannounced.
   Shortly after, I started noticing bruises and marks on my friend. He would not tell me where they were from, but I once witnessed his uncle almost run him over with a truck and chase him down the road with a belt.
   His uncle was nothing but a drunken bully. My friends mother (the drunk's sister) just made excuses for her brother and never would take us seriously. The police were no help either stating he could drink on private property as long as it was not in public or making a scene. It looked as if my friend would just be beaten to death by this pathetic excuse for a human.
   One night while coming back from fishing the local river with another close friend, we saw this piece of garbage, passed out at the back gate of his sister's property. Knowing what he had done and what he was capable of, we hatched a plan to be rid of this creature. Taking his wallet, we walked over to the neighbors back yard, dropped it by their back step, and proceeded to throw a rock through a large window. The window that overlooked the passed out drunk. next door to be specific.
   To make a long story short, the police were called. They found not only the unconscious bastard near the gate, but his wallet at the scene of the crime. He was arrested and I never saw him again.
   Dark? Yes it is.
   Regrets? Not a single one.
   Would I do it again? absolutely.
   Do I fear retribution for this dark secret? No I do not. This good for nothing met his end attempting to hold up a liqueur store in southern Alabama years ago. As long as his ghost does not follow my blog, I am safe.


   Now to choose three new Minions of Misery to pass on this dark task:

Voodoo Ghoul
http://voodoo-ghoul.blogspot.com/

Devil's Eve
http://devilseve.blogspot.com/

Justine's Halloween
http://justineshalloween.blogspot.com


You have been chosen!

Aint no rest for the wicKED!

I was reading an update over at The Haunted Gallery  and heard an obscure song that reminds me just how much I have to do in the next few days. This song posted there summed it up perfectly :

   Friday, is the first day of Autumn which also signals the day we put up all Summer outdoor decor and drag out (and hopefully put up) Fall/Halloween. Now the weather is threatening to delay this event by at least a day.  This week, I have to find the time to mow and weed eat (blah!) , paint a front porch (banisters and all), and clean the house from top to bottom before we decorate. We have a to do list, and it gets longer instead of shorter! 

   On top of all that, we still have to skin the zombies we built weeks ago, build two toe pincher coffins, dress our two clothed zombie breaks (after we build them), and create Slimy Sam (more to come on this one). My girlfriend also has some projects she is wanting to work on independently of these such as a chicken wire female figure and other things she is envisioning plus all the party planning and set up! I am so thankful to have a wonderful woman like Miranda who not only puts up with my Halloween obsession but feeds it!

   On the BLOG to do list, I have 4 short stories that are half or better written, reviews to do on opening haunted attractions across the area, and updates for the wicKED Recipes page as well as a few updates I want to put in the Halloween Party Guide. Several "how to" posts are also in the planning stages for the blog. 

We have a bunch of great post ideas coming soon so I hope you have the B.A.L.Z. to check back often.

   I just updated the 2011 Haunted Attraction page with a new listing. The Haunted Auction House and Corn Maze has decided to open again this year. I also took the time to add countdown clocks to all the confirmed haunts so you can keep an eye on your favorite's opening day! Hop over and check it out!

   That's about it for this post. Time to go knock some items off Ye Olde To Do List. Hope your day is wicKED (but I hope you find some rest unlike me)!

The vampire was ancient, highly intelligent, and controlled the minds of millions of children.... and our parents were happy about it!

   Who doesn't remember our first beloved Halloween icon? For millions of children, Sesame Street's number crunching vamp was the first experience with any creature of the night.
   The count was old school to the fullest. He could turn in to a bat, had fangs, lived in a spooky old castle, and could count you to death. Although he never bit anybody on camera, I have a feeling that he was draining poor Grover dry when we were not looking. Grover, who was always shaky, sickly thin, and blue from anemia was most likely just his minion who he drained daily. Unfortunately, it was his old school roots that caused him to fade into to the wayside of mainstream vamps.
   The Count had fallen on hard times. With big screen vamps such as, Blade, Interview with a Vampire, Underworld, and (vomit) Twilight, he was doomed to the dusk of forgotten vampirical characters.
   The final stake for The Count was when this scandalous hidden video was released to the public :

   Although the count always insisted he was innocent of all wrong doings and this was all a  misunderstanding, his image was forever tarnished.
   Our beloved numeric vamp dropped out of the scene for years before emerging briefly in Japan in 2004. Trying to cash in on the Japanese Manga animation craze, the count sold out and produced, "Count Robot Hunter".

   There was something lost in the translation and the animated show flopped, sending The Count back into hiding.
   In the winter of 2008, The Count staged a comeback trying to connect with his grown up viewers of yesteryear.  He did his best to throw out some gangster rap and attract a following using the one thing vampires knew about... sex! The result was this video :

   Again, The Count found himself the cornerstone of failure. His approach was outdated and sadly lacking modern style and backbone. Again, our pointy fanged friend of old went underground where it is said he drank deep of the rich red intoxicating drink he loved...... No not blood!  Bartles and James Pomegranate and Raspberry Wine Coolers!
   It was during one of his drunken episodes in 2009 that he happened to flip the channel to the live red carpet premier of Twilight : New Moon. He watched as Robert Pattinson paraded down the carpet as hordes of screaming children cried and begged for his attention.
   The Count was outraged! How could the world turn their backs on him and open it's arms wide to this sparkling boy band reject?  Turning into a bat, he flew to the premier and proceeded to put an undead ass whipping on Mr Pattinson on Live TV!

   Witness's reported hearing the count scream out as he pounded the would be vamps face in, "One! One ass stomping! AHH AHH AHH! Two! Two kicks to the groin AHH AHH AHH!".
   Security moved in and tried to restrain The Count, but he just flew away, counting the broken teeth of the fallen sparkly star as he went.
   This was the rebirth of The Count. His attack sparked a nation wide rebirth of fans who rose up to support real vampires everywhere. The campaign slogan of  "You can bite my hiney if your vampire's shiny", was an overnight success!

   Riding the waves of the anti Twilight movement, The Count quickly rose in ranks and following and once again, the world knew and loved the purple, number maniacal, vampire.
 


    Oh well, I can dream about it! I just think we owe this purple puppet of the night more credit than we give him. He not only taught me how to count but he was directly responsible for my first sparks of Halloween fascination. From the wolf howling and organ music that signaled his intro, to the flicker bulb candelabra covered in fake spider webs in his creepy castle, he hooked me in! I bet I am not the only that feels this way. This puppet will always rank higher than anything that glitters in my world.

Keep on counting Count! You're still #1 in my book!

The most beautiful sound in the world...

   I am sure we all have our version of the most beautiful sound on earth, but I am sure mine is pretty unique.
   Laughing children? Hardly!
   The popping and cracking of a camp fire? Getting warmer.
   The growl of a my super charged Mustang? Close, but no cigar.

   There is no sound more beautiful to me than the sharp crack of a carefully laid out Halloween spending budget as it shatters into a million pieces.
   We did some shopping today. We spent way too much. We don't care! It's all for the best holiday ever!
   We hit Halloween Express and BOTH Spirit Halloweens (Kingsport and JC) that are within our area and I am ready to rank these two for the 2011 season.

  I will start with the biggest let down. Spirit Halloween.

  This was our first stop in our haunted shopping spree today. I have always been a big supporter of Spirit,  but this year I was sorely let down by the Johnson City TN store located at the corner of SUNSET & N.ROAN 2219 N. ROAN STREET JOHNSON CITY, TN 37601. 
   It was poorly laid out, with isles you could barely fit one person down, much less the throngs of people that were out in force today. What few props they had out were hastily set up and missing pieces or were not even hooked up.
   The prices of items were through the roof. I saw items carried by Wal-Mart, Target, and K-Mart at nearly half the price such as LED black flood light for $15.99  (Target $8.99) and animated zombie hand $19.99 ($12.99 Kmart). The biggest disappointment was seeing the EXACT same Walgreen Skeletons ($30) on sale here for $49.99.
   The staff did not help this dismal scene. The workers were huffing and puffing with faces all screwed into frowns as if they were working in a turd recycling plant. Unfriendly, unhelpful, and full of lathing at working at a Halloween store... BOOOO!
   To be quite honest, the store looked as if it has been thrown together overnight, even though they have been setting it up for over 3 weeks. It was dirty and cramped and dismal. We briefly looked over the high priced packages of despair and quickly went on our way.
    The Kingsport store was a different matter. Located at EAST STONE COMMONS2003 N EASTMAN RD,  KINGSPORT, TN 37660. It was spacious and clean. The staff were all smiles and helpful. While they did have a good number of props that were not working, you could tell the displays were put together with more care than their sister site. We actually spent a good deal of time here shopping, but were still met with staggering prices for items you could easily build or purchase at other stores for less.
   A prime example of this were the skull torches :

    These were $12.99 and consisted of a plastic skull with peeling paint and a standard bamboo tiki torch.

    Compare this to my $2 dollar Skull Torches:

Article on the torches can be found HERE.

   I usually spend at least $500 or more with Spirit every year, but this year they will get $87.58 from me for the following :

 

   The candelabra is just amazing in person and I used a 20% coupon on it ($99.99 before coupon). It comes with LED candles or you can use real ones if you choose! The glow in the dark bottle labels could not be passed up for our glowing bar display this year.
   I found 2 of the 5 LED candles broken. The LED "guts" had popped out and I had to glue them back in. Small frustration seeing what I paid for it. but the finished product is pretty amazing :

   All being said and done I am very pleased with my first and last purchases of the year at Spirit Halloween. I would rank them a single Grimace but thanks to the superior service at the Kingsport TN store and the online/catalog ordering aspect, they are wicKEDly ranKED at two out of five grimaces this year!

   Halloween Express, located at 112 A Sunset Dr Johnson City, TN 37604 423-794-2810 was our second big destination of the day.

   I had high hopes for the store and it did not fail me. When you walk in there are HUGE and FULLY functional displays and scenes of the props and decorations (the dinner table scene was very disturbing). There was a ton of merchandise to view and we happily shopped away an hour in this store. I even bought my costume for the wicKED weeKEnD Halloween party this year (old west zombie sheriff).  Below is a the loot we brought back :

   The costume, wig, and badge are all part of my costume. The $1.50 wine bottle labels are for our glowing bar scene this year. The foot pad is to activate my Dead Lift Zombie I bought 3 years ago. Loot continues in next picture:

   These were for whimsical touches at this years party. The zombie hand out of a bloody toilet seat cover is great. The 3D scenes are AWESOME! One goes on the fridge and the other the bathroom door. They really look like there is a hole torn in the door and you can see this scene inside. They were a great buy (in my opinion) at  $6.99. The cat decal is for my girlfriend's car window(sigh).
   This is a great place to just go gawk at the VAST amount of Halloween merchandise offered as well as the great scenes they have set up. The staff was very friendly and helpful, and they had costumes galore! I still found a few items that you can get cheaper elsewhere, like black lights, fog machines, etc,  but overall they had some very unique items at good prices. This year, Halloween Express gets wicKEDly ranKED at 4 out of 5 Grimaces!

   We hit all the usual spots on this trip as well such as Target, Kmart, Walmart(ick), TJMax, and ROSS's. I was not overly impressed with the offering of any of them. Walmart really did not have much at all (at least in our neck of the woods). Below is the rest of our wicKED treasures :

    Target gave us some good items.We got our craft pumpkin for this year at a decent price. The glow in the dark skull was very cool, but not as cool as the fully articulate glow in the dark skeleton for $40!(gonna see if these go on sale as I have an idea for a nice ghost prop). I always try to get one of their poly stone tombstone each year. This year they had only one that was not covered in glitter or garish paint! Glad I only grab one a year. The metal serving hands are just great. I wanted them last year and let them slip away so I grabbed them! The Sleepy Hollow book for $1 is for my god daughter's treat bag this year.

   Walmart always has some home haunt items. I grabbed 10 bottles of tonic water for glowing drinks and potion bottles, black lights for the party and the yard haunt and wire hangers. I had "no more wire hangers!" for my cheapo ground breaker arms so I grabbed a 10 pack.
   Today was a great day for me and my girlfriend. What sane person would not love to shop for Halloween stuff on a beautiful Saturday? Not to mention testing the limits of the endless pasta bowl at Olive Garden.
   With less than a week away before we drag out decorations, I fear it was the calm before the storm. It's going to be so much work, but I cannot wait! I am sure I have the B.A.L.Z. to pull it off! Do you?

Do you have the B.A.L.Z. to join?

   

   The modern day definition of a lurker is a person who reads discussions on  forums, message boards, blogs, or other interactive systems, but rarely or never participates actively or chooses to follow and support the site. They remain anonymous while enjoying content and posting namelessly. Research indicates that "lurkers make up over 90% of online groups"

   Let's face it people, it sucks to see you have over 500 views a day but you only have 10 followers. Some recognition is all most blog authors are asking for in the form of support for their site and content. We are a passionate bunch that want to know we share our interest with others and that all our hard work is appreciated. Most readers are content to just lurk in the shadows like some zombie waiting to pick at our brains. To these people I say get some B.A.L.Z 

   I present to you Bloggers Against Lurking Zombies or B.A.L.Z. We bloggers need to form together and collectively inform the masses about lurking and how to avoid it. We may also gently nudge our nameless readers into growing a set and following us for our efforts. If you feel as I do, grab a picture from the B.A.L.Z. page (or one of them above) and link it back to the info page HERE on your site. Show your lurkers you care about them. Show them you want to know they support your passions!

   If you are but a humble fan lurking in the shadows, then I highly recommend you check out the B.A.L.Z. page and be a supporter!

   Together we can put a stop to the mindless lurking zombies that shamble in the dark, hungry for our brains!